


To Wish Upon Love

by Saraileeb



Category: Supernatural, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Afterlife, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Gore, Car Accidents, Character Death, Guns, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Overdose, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Temporary Death, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:27:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26001130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saraileeb/pseuds/Saraileeb
Summary: Namjoon and Jungkook have been together for years, the seemingly perfect couple. That is until one big fight nearly ends them. As a way to reconnect and rebuild their relationship, they go on a road trip.Only to learn that sometimes the thing you wish for might come with too high of a cost.
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Namjoon | RM
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27
Collections: Ghostly | BTS MCD Fest





	To Wish Upon Love

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [ghostly_fest](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/ghostly_fest) collection. 



> This was done based on the prompt below. Mixing together 2 of my favorite things: Bangtan and Supernatural. 
> 
> I had the absolute best beta EVER for this fic and would never have been able to finish it or been able to make it anywhere what it is without her ALLIE THANK YOU SO, SO, SO MUCH!!!
> 
> **Prompt:**
> 
> Based on the Supernatural episode Mystery Spot. For some unknown reason, namjoon and jungkook get stuck on a loop, where jungkook dies a different way everyday. it can be funny deaths, tragic deaths, your choice! every time namjoon wakes up, he hears the same song (of your choosing. the original is heat of the moment by asia) and he knows he’s going to have to see jungkook die again. it’s slowly driving him insane. if they resolve it or if jungkook finally dies without them waking up again, it’s totally up to you!

[ ](https://imgur.com/SuIHBF9)

They had been dating for five years now. Jungkook had met Namjoon when he was a freshman at the university, and they just naturally clicked. It took Namjoon over a year to ask him out. They dated for a year before they moved in together during Jungkook’s junior year. Namjoon was in his second year of grad school, and it seemed like the perfect time. Both knew that living together would cut away some of the travel time to see each other, and they could use that time to work or study. 

The two of them just fit well together and were teased endlessly by their friends on how simple and secure their relationship was. Jungkook usually turned a bright shade of red before he would hide behind Namjoon while mumbling out an agreement. Life had been good and felt easy. They spent the summer before their last semester of school traveling to the beach on the weekends, visiting roadside attractions, and making wishes on shooting stars. By the time the last semester of Jungkook’s senior year and Namjoon’s graduate program came around both thought nothing could come between them. Jungkook was ready to get his senior year done, and Namjoon was wrapping up his graduate degree. Both thought they had the world conquered, and then school started. 

Slowly the school work started to pile up, papers and exams began to take over. The long morning conversations over breakfast became a quick peck on a cheek before one or the other was rushing out. Late night dinners and movie watching became late night cram sessions at the library or study sessions at a partner’s house. Eventually the good morning, love you’s and funny meme text messages dwindled to reminders to pick up milk or questions of the last time someone did laundry. Eventually they stopped cooking enough food for two instead started only focusing on their meals for one. The blame became school and stress, and both allowed that to become the excuse between them. 

On one particular Saturday morning after a nice peaceful run, Jungkook realized it had been a week since he had held a meaningful face to face conversation with Namjoon. The last time he spoke to Namjoon it had been to check on the grocery list and what he wanted to add. Jungkook didn’t like that he had gone that long without something more than “pass the milk,” or “hey can you buy some of that softener I like?” In a last-ditch effort, he made breakfast for both of them when he returned that morning from the run. Pancakes, fruit, eggs, and made sure that Namjoon’s coffee was the exclusive stuff. Namjoon always said, “I have to have caffeine in my bloodstream at this point, even to function.” That made Jungkook smile as he thought about how many mornings he had to wait until at least one cup had been drunk before he could talk to Namjoon. Then again, that had been months ago.

When Namjoon shuffled into the kitchen that morning, he mumbled a greeting. Shocked by the sheer amount of food. He muttered a thank you before he sipped on his coffee and frowned, “Is this my special coffee?” 

Jungkook smiled and responded with a “yes.” 

Before either could go further in the conversation, Namjoon’s alarm reminded him of his lecture that morning. Once he saw that, he quickly ate half the breakfast and left Jungkook sitting alone and miserable as he flew out of the apartment without a kiss goodbye. 

Jungkook decided that he had had enough and texted Namjoon that they needed to talk tonight. They could not continue like this. Something had to change. Jungkook was tired of not talking, he was tired of falling asleep alone and waking up the same way. He hated that he never knew where Namjoon was or what he was doing. The fact that Namjoon never called, never texted anything other than his shopping needs was starting to wear on him. Jungkook remembered when Namjoon would wax poetically for hours about his doe-like eyes and how they sparkled and now he couldn’t even get him to kiss him goodbye before he left. 

They were no longer boyfriends but rather roommates who only saw each other on the weekends if lucky. When they did see each other they didn’t talk much or if they did it usually ended in a fight or a guilt trip that led to mediocre makeup sex. And Jungkook was so tired of living like this. 

When they started dating he never thought they would get to this point. Namjoon was the boyfriend who left post notes of love on the nightstand before he left. He brought flowers on his way home. There would be take out and movie nights just because, and stargazing on stressful days. Karaoke because he loved to hear Jungkook’s voice and banana milk because he knew it was his favorite and thought Jungkook might want some after class. 

But, this wasn’t Namjoon. Rushing out without a kiss goodbye. Not coming home at night with no explanation, no call. No this wasn’t the Namjoon he met and fell in love with. Tonight they would have to communicate and change things or end the relationship because Jungkook could not take this anymore.

Maybe a break was what both of them needed. 

That night after a tense waiting period that felt like eternity, Namjoon dragged himself in and sat slowly on the sofa. He looked defeated from the battle that had not occurred yet. They finally talked about everything; emotions were finally able to be expressed without fear. 

Words poured out of both of them, the regret of things they had done and not done. 

Namjoon finally admitted his concern that he and Jungkook had gotten together too young. “You were so young when we got together, what if you regret this? What if you regret me? What if I am not good enough for us?” Namjoon had collapsed in Jungkook’s lap shaking from the tears. 

Jungkook had wrapped his body over the top of him gently stroking his back as Namjoon clung tightly to his arm drenching him in tears. He tried to sooth him with whispers of “shh and it’s alright” switching to “why would I regret this? It’s what I always wanted.” 

Namjoon shook his head. “No, Kookie, it’s all you’ve ever known, so of course, you think this is all you want.” 

Jungkook jerked back like he had been smacked. The fact that Namjoon would assume that he didn’t know what he wanted insulted him. 

He tried to get Namjoon to look at him and he refused, insisting that Jungkook was just a child and didn’t know anything. 

“So you think I am stupid.” 

Namjoon argued back, “not stupid Kookie just young.” 

The words spewed back and forth got more and more heated as they worked themselves up. Jungkook throwing out: “If I am so stupid and young then why do you continue to fuck me? Doesn’t it feel like you are with a child.” 

“We don’t anymore do we?” The sneer on his face made Jungkook see red.

“And whose fault is that Namjoon? You are never home, how can I fuck someone who is never even with me?” 

“Why would I want to be home with someone like you. Someone who is constantly nagging, constantly demanding more, always wanting me to be something, someone I’m not. Always clinging to me and demanding things I can’t give you.” His voice roared, face flushed deep red as spit flew from his lips hitting Jungkook on the cheek. 

Jungkook wiped it away as his bottom lip quivered. This was not how he meant for this conversation to go.

They were saying words in hurt and anger, and an argument that had never meant to happen had now gone too far. They had been together for so long they knew much too precisely how to hurt the other. 

Before it could go further Jungkook left with the door slamming behind him. Poison-laced words echoing in his head as he refused to hear or say anymore. 

Tears were streaming down his face by the time he went to the only other safe place he knew: Jimin and Tae’s house. He refused to talk about it, claiming he needed time to process. He was sure there was no coming back from that. Namjoon and Jungkook, the perfect couple were done and he wasn’t ready to admit it yet. 

Namjoon, on the other hand, collapsed on their sofa the moment the door slammed shut. He cried himself to a fitful sleep as regret over spilled words swirled in his head. 

The next morning when the front door opened slowly and cautiously, Namjoon rushed to hug Jungkook so tightly that he couldn’t breathe. 

Namjoon repeated over and over that he was sorry. “I will never say that to you again, Jungkook. I am so, so sorry.” 

He broke down and cried tears he didn’t think he still had in him. Namjoon went over his stress with school, he told him that he hadn’t passed two exams. He talked about his insecurities of the future with Jungkook and his worries that he would never be able to provide appropriately for them. He didn’t have any job opportunities, and the university had turned down his application to become a professor. 

Namjoon told Jungkook how scared he was of letting everyone down, “but what scares me the most is letting you down. To have you realize you’re not happy anymore. Koo, I couldn’t live with that. Now, though I am so scared that I have ruined us, that I have hurt and I will never forgive myself for the words that I said last night.” 

“Oh, Hyung” started the rush of all Jungkook’s own insecurities of being too young and Namjoon craving someone older, smarter, wiser. He had gotten accepted into the physical therapy advanced program overseas, and he feared he would have to move. His worry that Namjoon wouldn’t want to come. But his biggest fear: “that you would choose to let me go and forget me as you moved on with your life.” 

They held each other tightly as they spilled their thoughts and fears for the first time that school year. As the sun began to set, they realized how hungry they were and ordered food. It was the first time they sat down to have dinner together with a conversation other than schedules in months. 

While they ate and calmed down, Jungkook suggested a short trip on the break coming up. Yes, he knew they needed to study, “but Hyung, it will be good to get away and just be together with the two of us like we used to. We can go and see random things. Not plan anything and just relax. We’ll find cheap hotels and see roadside attractions.” 

The more he talked, the more excited he got and he began to bounce on the sofa, planning this trip that Namjoon had not even agreed to yet. One wide-eyed pout later, and he had Namjoon agreeing to give it a whirl. 

The worst thing that could happen is that they would end up right back where they were just as stressed, more impoverished, but maybe Namjoon and Jungkook would be closer than they had been all year. 

They did even better the week leading up to the mini-vacation. 

Though Namjoon and Jungkook were both stressed with school work, they both made time to text each other about sites they wanted to check out and see. They discussed how much they had in their budget. They ate ramen every night until the trip to help save up for the big week. 

The night before was a packing frenzy of what to take and what to leave behind. Laundry was done, clothes were brought out of drawers only to be shoved back in or brought out and thrown in a suitcase; later taken out and properly folded by Jungkook before they zipped up their bags. By the end of the hectic night they had decided that one suitcase and one bag was more than enough for a week-long road trip. They barely got any rest that night as they continued to discuss and plan their trip until they fell asleep one right after the other — mid-sentence, arms splayed across each other, clothes thrown throughout their apartment. 

The next morning was a mad dash of getting the car packed, breakfast eaten, coffee poured. Namjoon found everything he misplaced before they finally were able to take a deep breath in the car. One more trip back into the apartment for a quick bathroom break and they were ready to start off on their road trip. Namjoon grabbed the map as Jungkook drove them out of the city to hit their first roadside attraction. 

Jungkook took a ton of photos of them together, of attractions they saw and, of course, of his Hyung. It had been so long since he had seen or heard his Hyung laugh that genuinely. They were finally back to holding hands and talking to each other. Falling asleep in the middle of conversations and waking up to kisses and jokes. 

Jungkook was in heaven. 

He knew that when they went back, there would be a lot of work, but he wasn’t ready to give this up. He vowed to make Namjoon laugh like that at least once a day when they returned. 

On a particularly long stretch of road, while singing along as badly as possible, they passed a billboard for an attraction known as the Magic Shop. 

Jungkook pleaded with Namjoon, who immediately caved. “Okay, bun, okay, let’s go see the Magic Shop. Just stop bouncing, or we won’t make it.” 

By the time they pulled into the town that evening, however, the Magic Shop was already closed. 

Tired from their journey and knowing this was the last stop before they headed home, both men decided to check into a motel after eating and call it an early night. 

The motel was as cheap as they came. It was run-down on the outside but boasted of a saltwater pool with “real sand” around it. The entire place was advertised as “bringing the beach to you.” Once they opened the motel door, they saw why it was so proud of that. The walls were painted in a beach motif with palm trees and hot pink flamingos thrown randomly here and there on the walls. There was sand on the carpet. The bedspread was a horrible Hawaiian print that Namjoon liked, which made Jungkook fall in laughter. 

Namjoon, in mock anger, attacked him with a beach ball that he had found in the room left behind by the previous guests. 

After they calmed down from their beach ball version of dodgeball, they saw a sign on the bedside table, “beach ball is for the guest to play with.” 

They quickly determined it had been long enough after dinner that they could risk getting in the pool and changed as fast as possible. They spent hours in the pool laughing, throwing around the ball, and wasting time. When they made it back to their room, they continued to joke around until the jokes led to tickling, which led to kisses. 

Namjoon placed kisses all over Jungkook’s face starting at his cheeks and working his way around. 

“A kiss for those pretty doe eyes I drown in.” 

Followed by a peck on his forehead, “A kiss for the brightest mind.”

Another kiss on his nose, “the most adorable bunny nose I have ever seen.” 

Jungkook squirmed under the ministrations but did not it to end due to him giggling too much. “A kiss for the softest lips.” 

The kiss deepened and took them both under to absolute bliss.

For the first time in almost a year, they made love. 

This time the sex didn’t feel rushed, didn’t feel fake. This time it didn’t feel like something they were doing to make the other happy. No, this time, they spent hours with each other teasing, pleasing, and begging. 

Jungkook had come undone so easily with Namjoon, who knew everything about him. They made love to make up for the words that were still unsaid and make up for the words wasted in anger. 

That night the two of them found their relationship again and swore to keep it up. To communicate, to always say they loved each other. They vowed never to walk away from this and when the stress became too much they would take another trip to remind themselves. When they fell asleep that night wrapped in each other’s arms, it felt like the world was theirs. It was the first time in months that the words, “I love you” were whispered with hefty promises and lighter hearts. 

The next morning Namjoon found himself waking up to someone singing, _“today was a day just like any other.”_ Jungkook’s voice brought him out of his sleep as he sang along to the chorus. 

_“_ _I come undone, oh yes, I do_

_Just think of all the thoughts wasted on you_

_And every word you say, say something sweet_

_Cause all I taste is blood between my teeth_

_As I'm finding the words you're getting away_

_Well, I'm ready, I'm ready to drop._

_Oh, I'm ready, I'm ready, so don't stop._

_I'm ready, so don't stop,_

_Keep pushing_ ” 

Namjoon sat up and smiled when he saw Jungkook dancing while singing along. When he cleared his throat, Jungkook whirled around and smiled his famous bunny smile at him. He winked before walking over and kissed him on the mouth, “Good morning Hyung.” 

Namjoon grumbled out a good morning in between soft kisses that were starting to turn hungry quickly. 

He reached up to wrap his arms around Jungkook’s waist, hoping to start where they finished last night. 

“No, Hyung, not right now.” Jungkook giggled as he wrestled away from Namjoon’s arms. Namjoon, undeterred, reached for the only thing Jungkook had on, a towel, from his recent shower. Only to have his hand smacked away, “Hyung no, come on, I’m starving.” 

Namjoon sighed and pouted at Jungkook, hoping to get a pity kiss for his cuteness. 

“Fine Hyung. One, kiss then, shower. Your baby is starving, and we know what happens when I am hungry.” Namjoon winced as he recalled the last time Jungkook became hungry. He turned mean, picking fights with both Namjoon and anyone who looked remotely happy. Before collapsing into a whinny, pouting manfully trying to manipulate anyone into feeding him. Even resorting to begging a street cart vendor. 

“Fair enough, let me take a shower, and we can get going.” 

Jungkook hummed after giving Namjoon another quick peck on his lips before turning around and going back to dancing and brushing his teeth. 

The fact that Jungkook was only dressed in a towel that hung very low on his hips, accentuating his toned stomach and tiny waist, made it very hard for Namjoon to take a shower. It took more kisses, back hugs, and dancing along behind Jungkook before his hunger beat out his desire to feel wanted again. And Namjoon was pushed off with a point and pout, reminding him that his baby was hungry and needed food before any more activities. Namjoon hurried with his shower, hoping that if they got his baby fed, maybe his baby would want to cuddle more. 

After last night Namjoon would do anything to keep Jungkook this happy, even if that meant they never went back to their old life. _Maybe he would suggest that they just run away together and start over?_ After getting dressed in jeans and a soft tee, they walked down to the local diner to order breakfast. 

The diner was one that looked like it had not seen an update since the ’70s. The boys could tell that this was a place the locals enjoyed as they listened to the man at the counter ask an older gentleman, “are you sure you should drive you haven’t gotten your new glasses yet?” 

A younger bunch of men were eating with their heads down in their food, dressed in overalls like they were either heading into a factory or just got off their shift. The waitress in a pink outfit that fit much too snug greeted them cheerfully: 

“Hello, boys! Whatcha having this morning?” 

Jungkook smiled his famous smile that made everyone melt. The waitress was no exception if her softening face was any indication. “I will have the special with a side of bacon and coffee.” 

She looked to Namjoon, who was sure he was giving heart eyes to Jungkook, answered with, “I’ll just have coffee and toast please.” 

She nodded before she walked away. 

“Hyung, you can’t just have toast for breakfast.” 

Namjoon smiled at Jungkook’s worried face. “Bun, you know I can’t eat much when I first wake up. Give me some time, and then I will grab something later.” 

Jungkook hummed. He was disappointed but accepted it. 

When the waitress brought the coffee, she set the glasses down and cream before she ended up dropping the glass bottle of ketchup that was on her tray. The boys exclaimed in shock, and she apologized before she ran off to something to clean it up. 

“Now, don’t touch that. I don’t want you to get injured by cutting yourself” was hollered at them as she made her way back with a broom and a young man with a mop. 

Their food came shortly later, and they dug in all while discussing what their plan was this morning. Jungkook sneaked bacon on Namjoon’s plate whenever he looked around for a refill of coffee. When Namjoon saw it he smiled as he ate it. Namjoon looked up while biting into it winking at Jungkook’s happy grin and watched as his cheeks flooded pink before he looked away.

“We go back to the hotel to pack, then head to the magic shop. Once done with that, we can grab lunch and head back.” Jungkook nodded along but looked very forlorn. 

“Bun, what’s wrong?” 

His wide eyes tugged at Namjoon, “I don’t know, Hyung, can we stay for just one more day and then head back?” 

Before Namjoon could even agree, Jungkook shook his head, “never mind. I know you need to get back to finish your paper. Forget it.” 

Namjoon reached over and took his hand, “Bunny, I think that is a wonderful idea. Let’s stay for one more day and enjoy the pool. We will just cut our stops on the way back. Okay?” 

Jungkook smiled so widely at him and agreed before shoveling his food into his mouth, “Careful bun, we don’t want you to choke.” 

Jungkook slowed down as Namjoon paid and asked for two coffees to go. 

They made a quick detour to the motel to book their room for another night, which the clerk was more than happy to give them. While there, they asked for directions to the Magic Shop and learned that they didn’t need to drive there since it was only a few blocks away, they decided to walk. 

As they headed in the shop’s direction, they stopped by a beautiful golden retriever chained to a bicycle rack that made Jungkook coo. 

“Hyung, remember when you said once I graduate that we could get a dog?” 

Namjoon nodded his head with a smile. 

“I want one like this.” 

He shook his head, “Bun, that is a big dog and probably wouldn’t be very happy in our tiny apartment. He would need to walk all the time.” 

Jungkook frowned, “Well, he could go on my runs with me every morning, and we could walk him by the Han at night, wouldn’t that be lovely?” 

Namjoon just melted under Jungkook’s look, “Yeah, I,” he cleared his throat and looked back at the dog. “Yeah, I think that would be very nice.”

When Jungkook finished petting the dog, he stood and took a quick photo before they moved on. 

While passing down the street, they hear two men arguing over how the piano would never fit in the door and then watched in amusement as the one inside responded to the outside man, “See, told ya it wouldn’t fit.” 

The older and fatter one grumbled back about wanting a cookie for being right. It led them to laugh, reminding them of their friends’ — Yoongi and Seokjin — numerous arguments that sounded just like that one. Jungkook told Namjoon to remind him to call Jimin and Taehyung as they hadn’t talked to them in a few days, and they might worry. 

On their walk, Jungkook bumped into a younger woman. He bowed to apologize as she glared at him. Jungkook grabbed Namjoon’s arm and tugged him across the street toward the Magic Shop. 

From the outside, the Magic Shop looked just like any other shop. It was a brick building with a bright blue door. The flowers it had growing around made for a beautiful picture which Jungkook insisted they take a photo in front of individually. Then, thankfully, an older woman passed by and asked if they would like her to take their picture for them and they quickly agreed. 

When they looked down at the phone after she handed it back, they were greeted by the beautiful sight of two men very much in love and happy. Jungkook promptly sent it to Namjoon’s phone, and off into the group chat before putting it as his wallpaper. 

Once they entered the shop, both of them had to stop the snickers that threatened to escape. The place looked like an antique store met a thrift shop with furniture hammered to the ceiling. 

They were greeted with a “Welcome to the Magic Shop, where all your wishes can come true” from an older man in a cardigan, and Namjoon admitted grudgingly that he actually owned the same sweater or would have bought the cardigan the man was wearing. 

Thankfully the shop was on the smaller side, and they were able to get through the Mystery part of the Magic Shop before they dove in for some cheap shopping. The older gentlemen told them they reminded him of himself and his lover, who had recently died. Both men mumbled how sorry they were to hear that. The older man waved them off and asked if they would join him for tea. During their tea time, he told stories of how he had ended up making this shop with his lover. 

“Why is it called the Magic Shop, though?” Namjoon asked while he looked around. The older man smiled, “because my husband believed in magic, and past lives. He was obsessed with trading something you cared for deeply and getting back what you needed.” 

Namjon frowned as the man laughed at him, Jungkook bounced in his seat. “How does that work? Do people just bring in an item they care about, and they get a wish?” 

The older man laughed at the responses from both men. “Yes, young man, how it works is you bring in something you cherish, and the shop will give you something in its place. Sometimes it is something you need more, sometimes it is a piece of a riddle, and sometimes it is a wish.” 

Jungkook immediately whipped his head around to Namjoon and pouted at him. Namjoon stared back with a head tilt. 

“I can tell you, son,” he pointed at Namjoon before he winked, “Don’t believe in it. You remind me a lot of myself. I never believed in soulmates or love at first sight until I met Yoonjin, and well, the rest, as they say, is history.”

Both Jungkook and Namjoon exchanged mixed looks. Jungkook’s slightly amused as Namjoon rolled his eyes. Jungkook was already aware that anything that followed Namjoon would dissect and try to convince him “the believer” that there was no scientific proof of it.

“I will give you some free advice, ya?” the shopkeeper waited to continue until both men nodded at him to go on. “Don’t let go of the one you love when you find that special person hold on to them. But,” they both scoot forward in their chairs to stare at him waiting for him to go on, “realize you also have to know that a love like that can be all-consuming, and sometimes two souls should not be together in this lifetime. Sometimes it is better to let one soul fly alone and wait for the other to find its way back in another lifetime.” 

The conversation had drifted in a way that made Jungkook squirm. He started tugging on Namjoon’s sleeves as a clue to leave. They thanked the older man, who encouraged them to make a wish. They both wrote down their dreams and then lit them on fire from the candle next to the window. They then bought a Magic Shop mug and left to head back down the street, surprised that it was already late enough that the sun was starting to set. 

Jungkook’s stomach spoke for both of them when it rumbled in hunger. They decided to go to a different diner than the one they had stopped at for breakfast that morning. This time they wanted to have a good substantial meal. 

While they held hands and talked during dinner, the waitress that served them ended up in a heated debate with a man at the register. They could see her flushed face as she tried to hush the man who was waving his arms widely.

Both men felt uncomfortable. Jungkook was squirming in his seat and flinched every time the man raised his voice toward the waitress. Namjoon hated that Jungkook was getting so worried about it. His bottom lip was getting raw from the amount of chewing he was doing on it. 

He reached over and tapped Jungkook’s lip with his finger, “Hey Bun, let’s wrap this up and head out okay?” 

Jungkook looked down and then back at Namjoon with wide eyes, “I don’t like it, Hyung. Why is he yelling at her like that and no one is doing anything?”

“Bun, I don’t know but, I am not sure if we would make it better or worse if we interrupted.” Namjoon turned around in his seat and surveyed the scene of the fighting. It did appear that the pair had lowered their voice as least. Although the man was still gripping the woman tightly around the arm. 

Namjoon looked around and saw that no one else was looking; everyone was busy looking down at their own plates. He sighed when he turned back and saw that Jungkook was curling in on himself. 

“Alright, Bun, let me go to the bathroom and if they are still there when I get back I will talk to them okay?” 

Jungkook looked up at him with unshed tears in his eyes. “Thank you, Hyung. I just want her to be safe.” 

Namjoon reached over and cupped his cheek. “I know Bun, let me think about what to say and then I will talk to them okay?”

Jungkook gave him such an eager head nod that Namjoon knew at that moment he would knock the guy out if that was what it took for Jungkook to continue to look at him with that expression. He felt on top of the world as he left Jungkook in the booth before heading to the restroom to figure out what exactly a person could say to a very angry, brash man without it being challenging. His hero complex and wanting to be adored by Jungkook was going to get him killed one day. But he just couldn’t say no to anything his love requested of him.

After a deep debate with himself in the bathroom Namjoon finally worked out how to approach the angry pair as he washed his hands he found himself wishing this would just be over. 

Gripping the counter he bowed his head before taking a deep breath and straightening his shoulders. Namjoon scanned the restaurant looking for the back of Jungkook’s head. 

When he found him, he saw that Jungkook was sitting rim-rod straight — body tensed and hands clenched at his side. Namjoon frowned as he looked around to see what had him so tense. That’s when his eyes landed on the gun the other man was waving around while shouting about cheating. 

As he moved forward to get to Jungkook a loud bang echoed throughout the restaurant. Namjoon watched in horror as Jungkook slumped down on his knees before collapsing to the side. _Why wasn’t he in the booth? He was supposed to wait for Namjoon in the booth._

The following noises became overwhelming as he rushed to Jungkook’s side. He could hear screams, shouts, and a scuffle somewhere to the side, but his only thoughts were centered around Jungkook’s raspy breathing. When he pulled Jungkook up to try to see where he was hurt his hand felt wet and warm. He pulled it back and saw it coated in blood. A raspy gasp jerked him from the color on his hand. 

“Someone call for help. Please help me!” Namjoon had not realized he was screaming until Jungkook's eyes began to close slowly reaching up to grip Namjoon’s shirt. 

He wasn’t sure if Jungkook had shushed him or if it was another rattling breath. He was struggling to breathe and the blood was spreading out around his body, coating Namjoon’s jeans in warmth. Namjoon tried to cover the wound in hopes of keeping some of the blood in. 

He saw Jungkook’s eyes looking around examining his face as he rasped out, “Joon-ah.” 

“I’m here Bun, I’m here please just hold on for a little longer okay? They’re getting help.” He looked up to see the crowd gathering around him. “Get help, please get help.” 

He hadn’t realized he was crying until the hand that was gripping his shirt moved to his face to swipe at his cheeks. 

There was so much _blood_. 

The smell of copper was choking him as he tried to hold his breath but was forced to breathe when a sob ripped out of him.

That was when he noticed that Jungkook was holding the Magic Shop mug in his other hand, one gripped tightly to his chest the other to the cup. Namjoon held Jungkook’s hand to his cheek and gripped it fiercely. 

“Baby, please hold on they are getting help.” 

Jungkook sighed and let go of his hand. He reached his now bloody hand up to Namjoon’s face and gently brushed his hair back, “I love you, Hyung… please, don’t,” he coughed up a mass amount of blood that splattered all over his chin, some catching on Namjoon’s face, “forget me.” 

Namjoon cried as he swore through his sobs that he wouldn’t forget him, he begged him not to leave him alone, “Bun, I can’t live without you, Kookie please don’t leave me behind.” 

The crowd gathered around them, some sobbing with him while others just watched until the paramedics arrived. They eventually pried off his arms that were wrapped tightly around Jungkook who had gone limp in his hold. Namjoon wasn’t sure when he grabbed him and held him to his chest, hugging him while begging. But, at some point, he had shifted his body in an unreturned hug. 

The paramedics managed to get Jungkook away from him and pronounced him dead. That was when Namjoon shook his head as he closed his eyes, gripping the Magic Shop mug to his chest. 

_NO this isn’t fair they were finally back on track. We are meant to be together. No! NO! This isn’t happening. No! NO! This isn’t happening. Please not my Bun, I will do anything to keep him alive._

_I swear I’ll give you whatever you want in return for his life. I will give you mine. Please just give him back to me. Somehow. In any way._

_I will take whatever you give._

_Just give my Bun back to me._

Namjoon awoke with a jerk when the alarm he didn’t remember setting started blasting music, _“_ _today was a day just like any other_ _”._

N _a_ mjoon sat up quickly in bed to see a half-naked Jungkook dancing and singing to the same song he woke up to yesterday. 

_Jungkook? He’s alive. It was just a dream. Thank god it was just a dream._

Namjoon rubbed his face harshly as he looked down and saw he was naked not covered in blood. He looked around the room and took in the beach motif and tried to ground himself. Namjoon opened, then closed his mouth before he opened it again and received a wink from Jungkook, “Good morning, Hyung, please hurry up. I’m starving.” 

He blinked slowly before tripping on the sheets in his haste to get to Jungkook. He grabbed him and spun him around, looking at every inch of his body. Going so far as running his hand through his hair and staring at his face looking for something that he couldn’t put his finger on. 

Jungkook laughed at his antics as he shoved at him, “Hyung, what has gotten into you?” 

Namjoon pulled him into a tight hug, “I don’t know, Kookie, I just..” 

Namjoon pulled back and stared at him. Namjoon stared at Jungkook’s big doe eyes, his eyes tearing up. His sweet bunny was right here in front of him. _You shouldn’t be alive. How are you alive? Thank whoever that he’s alive. Thank you, thank you._ His heart constricted and then beat erratically as his thoughts raced through his head. He continued to scan over Jungkook’s face as he made sure to count every freckle and every mole, just in case. 

Instead of finishing his statement he just hugged Jungkook tighter, sucking in deep breaths as he tried to stabilize his emotions.

Jungkook waited until Namjoon loosened his grip before he leaned back and searched his eyes. He moved slowly, raising his hand up to brush the hair off of Namjoon’s forehead. “You just what?” 

That was when Namjoon saw Jungkook’s hesitation, he saw how Jungkook was tense as if preparing for bad news. He knew that look. Jungkook was thinking that Namjoon might have regrets about last night or something else just as equally painful. 

Namjoon let out a sigh and shook his head. “Baby, it’s nothing. I just had the strangest dream and—” he felt himself choking up as he recalled the events of his supposed dream that had felt so real. He could still smell the metallic scent of blood. He reached and pulled Jungkook in again for another hug, not wanting to ever let him go. “Bun, I lost you in it, and I can’t, Kookie. I can’t lose you.” 

Jungkook relaxed against the tight hold and tilted his head so Namjoon could fit better against him. “You aren’t going to lose me, Hyung.” 

They stay like that for a while. Holding each other tightly, slightly swaying until Jungkook’s stomach made a sound of protest. “Sorry, Hyung, but I’m starving.” 

His cheeks were turning a cute shade of pink as he looked up at Namjoon through his fringe. “I will take a quick shower bun, and then we can go.” 

Namjoon kissed his forehead, then moved to his nose, and then left a quick peck on his lips. 

When he turned away toward the bed, he saw the alarm clock said that today was Tuesday morning just like in his dream. 

“Joon-ah, are you sure you’re okay?” 

He slowly nodded to Jungkook before making his way to the shower, “Yeah, baby, just a weird dream.” 

Jungkook’s face broke into one of his too-sexy-for-his-own-good smirks, “Oh? Weird like clowns or weird like strippers?” 

Namjoon laughed at that, “Baby, you’ve been hanging out with Taehyung too long.” 

Jungkook harrumphs at him before pushing him back and going to brush his teeth. “Joon-ah, please hurry. I’m starving.” 

Namjoon shook off the lingering feelings from the nightmare and rushed through his shower. 

He didn’t want to see what a hungry Jungkook would be like, and to be honest, after last night’s dream, he would do anything to please Jungkook as long as he stayed alive. 

Namjoon was finally able to convince himself that ‘yesterday’ didn’t happen. _Jungkook would not be here if he had died_. It was just a bad dream, probably due to all the arguments they had before the trip and his fear of being alone. 

When he got out of the shower, he dried off before getting dressed. Then he helped Jungkook to the diner. When they entered the 70s-themed diner, Namjoon stopped suddenly to take in his surroundings; struck with an eerie sense of déja vu. 

The clerk was talking to an older man, “Are you sure you should be driving? Have your glasses come in yet?” 

He shook off the shivers as they made their way to a booth. The waitress in the too snug pink outfit greeted them, “Hello boys! Whatcha having this morning?” 

_Jungkook was smiling his famous smile that made everyone melt. The waitress, no exception. The same way it was before._ Namjoon shook his head as he looked around. It was making him feel uneasy; this was too similar to his dream. How would he have been able to dream all this? It couldn’t be just a coincidence…

His attention was focused on the uniform as they dug into their breakfast, missing out on most of what Jungkook was saying. “I will have the special with a side of bacon and coffee.” 

She looked to Namjoon, who shook his head and whispered, “Just coffee for me.” 

She gave him a quick nod before heading away. 

“Hyung, you can’t just have a cup of coffee for breakfast!” 

Namjoon smiled a tight-lipped smile at Jungkook’s worried face. “Bun,” Namjoon whined at him while he looked around. 

Before Jungkook could make another comment, the waitress returned to give them their coffees as the glass ketchup bottle tilted off her tray and began to fall. Namjoon already had his arm there ready to catch whatever was falling without looking. 

And he was able to catch it, his actions appeared smooth and it looked like he was expecting it. Meanwhile, Namjoon wasn’t even looking at the bottle anymore he was frantically whipping his head around trying to take the whole diner in. Jungkook’s mouth formed an ‘O’ as he watched Namjoon set the bottle on the table. 

“Oh, wow, Hyung, great reflexes.” 

The waitress was gripping her top in shock as well. “Wow, thanks! You have great reflexes. Boy, that would have made an awful mess.” 

He just nodded staring at the bottle. The waitress shrugged before she walked away. 

“Joon-ah, are you sure you’re okay?” 

Namjoon looked back at Jungkook’s concerned eyes, “Bun you don’t?” Joon trailed off as he shrugged. Jungkook narrowed his eyes and moved his hand across the table to be closer, That made Namjoon look up at him and whisper, “‘You don’t remember any of this?” 

Jungkook moved back to sit with his back flat against his booth, “Remember _what_ exactly?” 

Namjoon’s breathing came out in pants out, and his eyes were moving back and forth, quickly looking over Jungkook’s expression. “This,” he waved his arms around, “Like today, like this has all happened before.” 

Jungkook smiled when he leaned forward again, interested in where this was going, “Oh, like deja vu.” 

Namjoon shook his head sharply. “No, I mean like this _has_ happened before. I’ve felt it– I’ve experienced this already.” 

Jungkook sat back and looked at the board above the counter while biting on his lower lip, “Yeah, that’s what deja vu _is,_ Hyung.” 

Namjoon smacked the tabletop and made Jungkook jump, “Forget ‘deja vu’. I am asking you if it feels like we’re living yesterday all over again.” 

Jungkook lowered his head and looked up through his lashes, “Okay, how is that not deja v…”

He barely got it out before Namjoon cut him off, “Don’t say it.” Namjoon leaned back with a sigh, “Just don’t say it.” 

Jungkook shrugged and glared at Namjoon, “Okay, but I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Hyung.” 

Namjoon leaned forward and gripped his hands tightly, “Look, yesterday was Tuesday, right?” 

Jungkook lowered his eyebrows while narrowing his eyes at Namjoon before he gave him a tentative nod. His face scrunched up as he narrowed his eyes before he nodded his head quickly. It was obvious he didn’t believe him but wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. 

“But today is Tuesday too.”

Jungkook sucked in his cheeks before sitting back as the food arrived. “Yeah, no good. Yep, you’re making complete sense.”

“Your sarcasm is not welcomed right now.” Namjoon huffed at him and suggested that maybe after breakfast, they could go back to the hotel and just lay down for a moment.

Namjoon went to sip his coffee when he heard Jungkook mumble, “You’re like dingo-ate-my-baby crazy, but yeah, a nap should fix all of it.” 

Namjoon snorted into his coffee and sent a glare in Jungkook’s direction before leaning back and attempting to relax while sipping his coffee. He watched Jungkook finish his plate of food. 

“Done, Bun?” Jungkook patted his extended belly and gave Namjoon a bunny grin, “Yep, let’s get back to the motel and check-in for another night so that you can rest.” 

Namjoon just hummed in agreement before putting money on the table and left with Jungkook close behind him. They made their way back to the motel, with Namjoon walking in front of Jungkook. He hadn’t noticed that Jungkook had gotten distracted by the dog chained to the bicycle rack as he was too busy thinking of his memories of ‘yesterday’. 

He looked both ways before he crossed the street and opened the door to the motel. That’s when he heard the squealing of tires and a shout followed by a loud thump. 

When he turned back, he saw Jungkook on the street lying in a rapidly expanding pool of blood. Namjoon ran to him and gently picked up his head to rest on his chest. Jungkook’s eyes locked onto his as he gasped out, “Joon-ah.”

“I’m here, Bun, I’m here please just hold on for a little longer okay? We will get you help.” He looked up to see that a crowd had started to form coming out after hearing the sounds. “Get help, please get help. Someone help me!” 

He hadn’t realized he was crying until Jungkook’s hand moved up to his face to swipe at his cheeks. There was so much blood. The smell of metal was choking him as he tried to hold his breath but was forced to breathe when a sob ripped out of him. It was too much like his dream. Too similar, his heart pounded and the tears streamed down his face. As the blood was seeping into his sweats coating them in heat and wetness.

Namjoon took Jungkook’s hand, lifting it to his cheek and gripped it fiercely. 

“Baby, please hold on they are getting help.” Jungkook sighed and let go of his hand. 

Jungkook reached up and gently brushed Joon’s hair back, “I love you, Hyung… please, don’t,” he coughed up a mass amount of blood that splattered all over his chin, some catching on Namjoon’s face, “forget me.” 

_How is this happening again? No, I can’t do this. Not again._

Namjoon cried as he swore through his sobs that he wouldn’t forget him. He begged him not to leave him alone, “Bun, I can’t live without you, Kookie please don’t leave me behind.” 

The crowd gathered around them, some sobbing with him while others just watched until the paramedics arrived. They eventually pried his strong arms wrapped around Jungkook who had gone limp in his hold. 

Namjoon wasn’t sure when he grabbed him and held him to his chest hugging him while begging. But, at some point, he had shifted his body in an unreturned hug. He let him go gently to the ground making sure his eyes were shut. 

As he waited for the paramedics to arrive Namjoon looked off to the side to see a Magic Shop flyer soaking up the blood of Jungkook _._

 _NO! NO this isn’t happening again. Not again no_. 

Namjoon closed his eyes as he let the scream of frustration rip through him.

It was the same song that woke him up again, “ _today was a day just like any other_ ”.

Namjoon freaked out and ripped the sheets off. He tripped a few times in his rush to get to Jungkook who was standing in the room humming, dancing, and only in that hotel towel. He slammed into him so hard Jungkook ended up with his back flat against the wall, arms opened, toothpaste drool running down his chin. 

He remained frozen as Namjoon sobbed, arms locked around him before pulling back. Namjoon then proceeded to inspect every inch of his body while mumbling unintelligibly. Once it seemed he was satisfied Namjoon pulled him into another tight hug. 

It was sudden and so hard that Jungkook coughed toothpaste onto Namjoon’s bareback. Through all the sobs and tears, Jungkook was able to make out that Namjoon had watched him die. 

Namjoon begged him over and over not to leave the room that they could just stay in and cuddle the rest of the day. 

Jungkook reassured him while stroking his back that it was just a dream. 

He was very much alive, and it was going to be okay. Jungkook kissed him and cleaned up with Namjoon clinging to his back the whole time. It took a lot more convincing and promises to not let go of Namjoon’s hand before Joon got dressed and with slow steps headed out to the diner because Jungkook was hungry. Just like the other two days.

Namjoon absolutely refused to let go of Jungkook’s hand the whole way. He was a nervous wreck as Jungkook ordered. He ignored the compliments when he caught the ketchup bottle and set it upright on their table. Namjoon barely talked through breakfast, eyes scanning everything around him. His hand tightly held onto Jungkook’s making it difficult to eat.

Jungkook insisted that they go back to the hotel to check back in for another night so that Namjoon could get some better rest. He promised him not to let go of his hand and stay in the room with him the entire time since that seemed to be the only way that Namjoon would agree. They walked to the intersection, and Jungkook went to take a step out. 

Before he could get his foot on the ground, Namjoon pulled him back hard against his chest. As a car blew past them, honking and cussing, “Watch where you walk!” 

Jungkook shook his fist at the car, yelling, “Watch your driving. You nearly killed me!” 

Namjoon just hugged him tightly from behind, his whole body shaking while Jungkook tried to yell at the car. It was difficult to walk with Namjoon’s frame practically wrapped around him. 

“Please, Bun, I just need to get back to the room,” Namjoon begged, wanting to hurry up and return to the safety of their room. 

His eyes were filling with moisture and his voice was wobbling. “Okay, baby, we can go back. That’s what the plan is. It will be okay, Namjoon Hyung, you will see.” 

Before stepping off the curb both boys looked both ways and then crossed the street when it was all clear. They walked hand in hand the whole way back to the motel. Jungkook told Namjoon he would wait outside for him, but Namjoon insisted otherwise. So, Jungkook found himself following him into the main waiting room. Namjoon still held his hand in a death grip, using his free hand to hit the bell. 

The attendant agrees to let them stay for another night with a wink and waggly of eyebrows. They make their way back to their room, Jungkook red with embarrassment and Namjoon chuckling, loosening his hold on Jungkook’s hand once they are safe in the room. 

After a long nap, during which Namjoon clung to Jungkook like a koala bear the whole time, they decided they were hungry again. It had been thanks to Jungkook’s protesting stomach once again and Namjoon finally had his appetite back. 

They walked back toward the same diner per Namjoon’s insistence. Too scared to try the other restaurant after the first incident with the arguing couple.

Jungkook stepped back to take a picture of Namjoon walking in front of his hand out behind. He used to photograph this exact pose regularly when they had first started dating. 

When Namjoon turned to ask if he got the shot he wanted, he screamed as a piano dropped from out of nowhere on Jungkook, blood spurting everywhere, covering Namjoon in the hot, sticky substance forcing his eyes to close— 

_“_ _Today was a day just like any other.”_

Jungkook was startled from singing when the alarm clock was shattered against the wall. “Hyung, what in the world?” 

Namjoon just shrugged at him, “I hate that song.” 

Jungkook was fully dressed this time and not damp as he had been during the previous mornings. Namjoon had woken up before Jungkook took his shower. 

Maybe today would be different after all. 

Jungkook was yelling at him, but all Namjoon could focus on was the difference today — the fact that Jungkook still hadn’t taken a shower. 

In a huff of anger at being ignored, Jungkook threw his hands up at Namjoon before he marched off to shower. Namjoon knew he was upset with him. He hated having Jungkook upset but he was not going through all of that again. Namjoon refused to lose his bun again. Fighting and driving Jungkook to be angry enough to make them leave might be the only way to keep him safe. So, he shouts out that they should just head back home, if they are going to do this why be here? 

Infuriated, Jungkook rips open the curtain to yell at Namjoon before he slips. A scream followed by a hard thunk had Namjoon flying into the bathroom. He was greeted by Jungkook lying twisted into a weird position, blood washing down the drain. _So much blood_. He squeezed his eyes shut to block out the scene— 

_“_ _Today was a day just like any other.”_

Namjoon groaned and held his hands up to cover his eyes. He felt Jungkook come and sit next to him on the bed and whisper in a scared tone, “Hyung?” 

Namjoon pulled him into his chest. “Baby, I am begging you. Just listen to me, okay?” 

Jungkook pulled back as far as he could in Namjoon’s grip. Once he made eye contact with Namjoon he nodded for him to go on.

“What I am going to tell you will seem crazy, and I am sorry for that, but _please_ try to believe me, okay?” 

Jungkook leaned back down, resting his head on Namjoon’s chest as he agreed. Namjoon filled him in on everything. He described the first incident and the fear of letting him go. He talked about the second and how hard it was to look at the scared face and know that he wasn’t going to see him again. Waking up each day only to relive Jungkook dying was too much. He couldn’t keep doing this. It hurt too bad. 

The Deja Vu conversation aside, this morning was already going better. 

“Please, baby, I can’t watch you die again. I can’t. Watching you die every day is slowly breaking me.” 

Jungkook slid his body next to Namjoon’s, tucking into it before he leaned up to kiss his cheek, then his eyes shut when he neared. “Okay, Hyung, it seems crazy, but I believe you.” 

He lowered himself down to rest on his chest again. “You said that I have died at different times of the day, yes?” Namjoon brushed back his hair and agreed. 

“Okay, then all we need to do is make sure I don’t die today.” Jungkook sounded so strong and firm in that decision while Namjoon squeezed his hands so tightly.

“Baby, you don’t think I’ve _tried?_ It is not that easy to keep you alive.” 

Jungkook sat straight up, but he didn’t seem at all deterred. “Okay, we can do this, Hyung! We just have to see what I did before and make sure I, or we, don’t do them again. What do I do in the mornings and we will just change some little things here and there. You will see Hyung. I’ll live and it will all be over today.” 

Namjoon pulls him back down and rubs his chin in his hair with his eyes closed. He sends out a silent plea, hoping that Jungkook would be right this time before he kisses the top of his head and squeezed him tightly.

They both head out to the restaurant without brushing their teeth, much to Jungkook’s displeasure. At the restaurant, Jungkook squeezed Namjoon’s hand to calm his nerves. 

“Okay, let me order the special.” Namjoon made a whining noise, and Jungkook nodded, “Or not ma’am, I would like the breakfast meat platter with two orange juices and an extra side of bacon.” 

The waitress shrugged and brought them two orange juices before she walked away. Jungkook smiled at Namjoon. “See, Hyung, we are already making small changes and that will make a difference.” 

Namjoon just squeezed his hand in response and tried to eat the extra food that Jungkook made him order since it would be different. He looked up when he felt Jungkook gripping his hand extra tight. He saw his face bright red, and he was scratching at his throat, turning red. 

As Namjoon reached over to him, he shut his eyes willing the scene away as Jungkook flailed his arms in distress—

_“Today was a day just like any other.”_

Namjoon refused to go out this time. 

He had tried the same approach as the previous morning. He was murmuring to Jungkook while begging him not to leave the motel today. Eventually, he gets Jungkook to agree, and they call the front desk to reserve the room for one more night. 

They lay cuddling on the bed until Jungkook’s stomach growls too loudly to ignore. Namjoon called the diner, and they brought over food for them. As they eat, Namjoon explains what he knows and the different ways that Jungkook has died, “What do we do then, Hyung? You make it seem pointless.” 

Namjoon shook his head, violently. “No, I will not give you up, and I will not let you die. All we have to do is make it to tomorrow. If you can stay alive until tomorrow, then we will be okay.” 

Jungkook just sighed and then looked down at his burger, “Hyung, does the food taste funny to you?” 

Namjoon’s vision grows darker as Jungkook’s head slams on the table—

_“Today was a day just like any other._ ” 

Namjoon felt so defeated that he didn’t know what else to do. 

Jungkook came up to him, and he just turned over, putting his back to him. He tried to ignore his pleas and whining until a cup of cold water hit his bareback. Namjoon comes flying out of bed, sputtering at Jungkook, who was laughing. 

A sound that Namjoon hadn’t heard in forever. So, he throws caution to the wind and chases him around the room to tickle him. He caught him a few times until Jungkook’s foot got caught in the sheets; when he tried to hop from one bed to another. The loud crack and a clear snap of Jungkook’s head sent Namjoon reeling back, shutting his eyes, not wanting to see— 

_“Today was a day just like any other.”_

Namjoon was slow to get out of bed on what felt like the hundredth morning. He went along with all the things Jungkook wanted to do. Once the waitress came up to their table, Namjoon caught the ketchup blowing off the compliments with a glare. When Jungkook huffed in distaste, Namjoon threw himself into the same explanation over again. “Why am I a jerk?! Well, let me tell you what I’ve had to deal with for only God knows how long now.” 

He listed off the conversation that Jungkook would have with him. Namjon went word for word; everything Jungkook said, Namjoon was able to speak simultaneously. 

Jungkook called him immature. Namjoon didn’t care. Jungkook ended up walking away from him even when Namjoon chased after him. They made their way back to the motel, and Jungkook promised him he would stay in bed and not move an inch if Namjoon would just please get him “Some headache medicine, Hyung.” 

When Namjoon returned, he had never been so happy to see Jungkook still in the same place, albeit in pain but still alive. After Jungkook took medicine, he started to hit the bed and grab at Namjoon, “Hyung that didn’t have acetaminophen in it, did it? You know I’m allergic. Help me, please Hyung? I can’t breathe.” 

Namjoon looked at the bottle and cried out when he saw it did have that ingredient. When he looked back at Jungkook, his breath was raspy and getting weaker as his body started to swell. Namjoon sat beside him and hung his head, eyes closed while he rubbed Jungkook’s arms. 

He waited for the stupid alarm to go off again... 

_“Today was a day just like any other.”_

Namjoon just turned over and put the pillow over his head. He only turned back when Jungkook quit singing and started to plug in the hairdryer. He set it down and mopped up the floor with a towel before heading back toward the dryer. 

Namjoon just laid back down when Jungkook made a sound of pain as the lights flickered and flashed. 

When the lights stopped, he sat up Jungkook was on the ground, mouth open and hair standing straight up. 

Namjoon sighed and laid back down, shutting his eyes...

_“_ _Today was a day just like any other.”_

Namjoon knew he was going crazy, but he refused to suffer anymore. This particular morning, he got up and convinced Jungkook to join him back in bed. 

He took his time and made love to his soulmate; he promised him forever and told him he would never leave him. 

Eventually, they dozed off and when Namjoon woke up, he smiled in the dark thinking the day had finally passed without a problem... until he realized that Jungkook was not beside him.

He quickly threw on some sweats and a tee. He had barely made it out of the hotel room when he saw Jungkook in the parking lot. It felt as if the world had slowed down, almost as if he was watching a movie. He wanted to scream out a warning. He wanted to race down the steps and stop it. But, he knew deep down that nothing would stop this. 

Namjoon looked down and watched the man rush up from behind Jungkook and shoot him before he stole his wallet. Food dumped everywhere on the asphalt as blood began to soak it. 

He cried out. Before sliding down against the railing letting his head hit the bars. The pain not registering with him. He was past the point of feeling anything.

Namjoon stared up at the sky cursing his life before he dropped his head and shut his eyes... 

_“_ _Today was a day just like any other.”_

Namjoon woke up and he really couldn’t take it anymore. 

He purposely picked a fight. Namjoon was so tired of trying to save Jungkook that he wondered what would happen if he didn’t care. What would happen if they went back to the reason this whole thing started. The original fight. What if they went back to the moment before they planned this trip? 

He told Jungkook that he hated him, that this trip was stupid and pointless. Namjoon made sure to tell him that the previous night was a mistake and that he hated this and him. 

Jungkook tried to get close to him to hug him. He begged and cried, asking to know what went so wrong and why Namjoon stopped loving him. 

In a fit, Namjoon swung back and shoved Jungkook off of him, only to watch in horror as his head hit the edge of the nightstand. 

Warm wet fluid streaked across his face and into this mouth as his eyes closed in reaction....

_“Today was a day just like any other.”_

Namjoon pulled Jungkook back into bed to have fun sex with him. Giggly, tickling, and sweet sex. When they are both catching their breath, Jungkook mentions how he needs ice water after that. Namjoon argues with Jungkook that he can get the ice as he jumps from the bed and throws on some sweats and a tee from yesterday. 

He just wanted him to relax. “Let me take care of you, baby, please. Just relax.” 

The giggling Jungkook smiled warmly at him but refused to let him go out alone. After all, they were both tired this morning. Namjoon admires how Jungkook looks in just his sweats and tries to convince him that ice wasn’t needed before he was pushed away with a wink, “Maybe after we get ice, Hyung.” 

When Jungkook got to the ice machine, he opened it to see that it was all melted, and in a puddle was around him. He turned to warn Namjoon to be careful and not slip when he slipped on the last remaining piece of ice and fell down the concrete steps crumbling in a heap at the bottom. Namjoon sits at the top of the stairs and lets the tears stream down his face before he shuts his eyes... 

_“_ _Today was a day just like any other.”_

He won’t do this anymore. Namjoon refused to do it. He couldn’t. 

He grabbed Jungkook, holding him tightly while he begged him to end his misery. Jungkook cried with him trying to understand what Namjoon wanted and why. Namjoon tells him again and again that he can’t bear to see him die again. 

While Jungkook was confused with that sentence, he thought maybe he meant live without him. Namjoon said that Jungkook would be better off without him: “Hyung no, I wouldn’t. I couldn’t live without you either. Please, Hyung, don’t talk like this.” 

Namjoon shook his head and let it go. Agreeing to go to the diner for food. Once Junkook had ordered breakfast Namjoon told him he forgot his wallet and would be back. He left Jungkook sitting at the diner eating breakfast. 

When he rounded the corner he found the pawnshop and walked in. Namjoon purchased a gun from the owner for protection on their way home. 

“You can never be too careful, son.” 

Namjoon hummed in agreement and left. 

Instead of heading back to the diner, he went to the motel room. He cleaned up everything making sure that he wouldn’t ruin anything. He pulled the desk chair out and sat in it with his back to the door. 

As he raised the gun and let it rest there he whispered out, “Forgive me Jungkook.” 

Right as his finger pulled the trigger, Jungkook burst through the door, slamming it hard against the wall. The distraction and loud noise startled Namjoon making his body jerk. The gun pulls in front of him just right to hit the lamp pole and ricochet into Jungkook. Jungkook slumps down to the ground.

“Hyung?” his face is confused as he crumples to the ground. 

Namjoon just sits in his chair listening to Jungkook calling out for him as he lets the sobs roll out of him holding his head in his hands. He hears his last breath and shuts his eyes. 

_I am so sorry Jungkook. I am so sorry I could never be what you needed..._

_“_ _Today was a day just like any other.”_

Namjoon rolled over and immediately got up to get dressed. He knew what he needed to do. He should go back to the Magic Shop. That’s where they went the first time this all happened and Jungkook got a mug. Ever since that shop things have gone wrong. It was literally the only thing he had yet to change their situation.

If nothing else they mix up their routine and he can figure something else out the next time.

He impatiently waited for Jungkook to finish up before he dragged him down the street past the diner despite his hungry protests. He didn’t stop for the dog nor did he let Jungkook stop for it either. He moved them to the other side of the road when he saw the grumbling piano men. 

He continued to push and pull Jungkook all the way to the Magic Shop’s blue door. Once there he proceeded to beat loudly on it until the older man came down to see what the noise was and who was causing it. 

“Help us,” Namjoon said as soon as the door opened “You knew this would happen. I can’t see him die again. Please, I am begging you to help us.”

Jungkook shook his head nervously. “Hyung, I don’t like this. Can we please go?” 

The older man simply responded with, “Remember what I told you before? The last time.” 

Jungkook tugged at Namjoon’s sleeve while looking around at the crowd that was now watching them. “Hyung, let’s go. You’re upset, and I don’t like it. Please.” 

Namjoon looked into his eyes before shutting his own and looked back at the older man.

He shook off Jungkook’s tug, “Yes, you said, ‘don’t let go of the one you love. When you find that special person, you need to hold on to them. But we needed to realize that a love like that can be all-consuming, and sometimes two souls should not be together. Sometimes it is better to let one soul fly alone and wait for the other to find it in another lifetime.” 

Jungkook shivered at those words. 

“Come on in and let me tell you a story that might help.” The older man stepped back letting them in. 

Both men make their way into the shop. Jungkook was hiding behind Namjoon’s frame. They only took a few steps before Namjoon refused to go any further. “Tell us how to stop this. I don’t want tea, and I don’t want a wish. Tell me how to stop this nightmare.” 

The old man sneers at him, “Listen, boy, I will tell you a story and nothing more. It is up to you what you chose to do with it.” 

He waits until Namjoon bows his head with gritted teeth in his direction. 

“There is a legend that involves two lost souls. They traveled through many lifetimes together. Never connecting for long, never allowed to be in the other’s presence for too long before one of them dies.” 

Namjoon shudders. 

“Until,” the old man looks right at him, “One fateful cycle they met and reconnected never to break apart from each other again.” 

Jungkook leaned forward, suddenly curious, “How did they reconnect?” 

The older man looked out into the street, “They were reconnected because the one that caused all the heartache and pain in the previous cycles... Well, he finally let go. He accepted that their fate could not be tied together, and he had to let the other go free in order to be happy. The other one had to sacrifice his life for his lover in order for his lover to find him in the next cycle. After all he had sent out a single wish. _I will do anything to keep him alive. I swear whatever you want in return for his life I will give you mine. Please just give him back to me in any way. I will take whatever you give._ ” 

The older man stared right at Namjoon, who had gone stiff as he recognized his own words from the very first day. He sucked in a sharp breath making Jungkook startle in concern. Jungkook started to tug at Namjoon’s sleeve to get him to leave with him. 

But Namjoon wouldn’t budge as he looked at the older man, “So this is the cost?” 

Jungkook stomped his foot. “Hyung, this is scaring me. Please, let’s go.” 

The older man opened his hands and shrugged. “Sometimes the cost is expensive. And not all of those who wish think of the consequences.” 

Namjoon thanked the older man while Jungkook just huffed in anger. They slowly exited the shop and made their way back to the street. 

“Hyung, you can’t believe that story, right? You of all people who don’t believe in soulmates, or wishes, or gifts.” 

Namjoon smiled at Jungkook and brushed his hair back behind his ear. “No, baby, I don’t believe in that story.” 

On the way back to the motel, Namjoon forgot about the dog until he heard growls and screams of pain.

_“_ _Today was a day just like any other.”_

Namjoon sighed deeply when the song clicked on again. 

He now knew what he needed to do. He knew the steps he needed to take and resigned himself to take them. 

This would be their last cycle. 

Namjoon knows he can’t do this anymore. He can’t lose Jungkook another time. When he opened his eyes he made sure to repeat the first day. He sang along with Jungkook, teased him, and then convinced him this time to make love with him before they went out to get breakfast. While his Jungkook slept, he kissed him on the forehead and watched him for a few moments to remember his face, and how he looked in that moment. A memory that he would hold dear. 

He then got up and turned to the motel notepad to write one last note. 

_Jungkook,_

_You are the love of my life, in this life, and all the ones before. I need you to know that I did this for us._

_At first, it will not seem like it, and that hurts me. It hurts me to know that you will be scared, sad, and angry at my decision. I want you to understand that you did nothing wrong. I did this so you could live a full and happy life without being burdened by me._

_I do not want you to remember me as the man I was this last year. I want you to think of me the way I was this morning. Your Joonie._

_Please trust that I know you loved me with your whole being. Once this is done and you will be free from the cost of my wish. All I wanted was for you to live. And in return to keep it that way I will pay with my life._

_I know that we will be reconnected in our next life. I never believed in soulmates until I found you, and I know that in this next cycle you will find me no matter what. Please don’t cry for me, my love for we will see each other soon. And in our next life, I promise to love you harder than you have ever been loved. I promise to never let you go._

_Please don’t go into the bathroom and promise me that you will forget all the pain I’ve caused you over the years._

_I love you,_

_Your Joonie_

Namjoon put the note by the bed on the nightstand. 

He gave Jungkook one last kiss on his forehead and caressed his cheek before he made his way to the bathroom. He made sure to lock the door as he started to run the water filling up the tub. 

Namjoon took out the remaining pills he had from Jungkook’s headache one of those many Tuesdays. Once he was comfortable in the warm water he slowly forced his body to swallow as many pills as he could until he became dizzy. Stopping he slid further in the water as he took a razor in shaky hands. His vision was blurring already but he wanted to make sure he did this right. Jungkook had to be free, he had to live. So he pressed as hard as he could into the soft flesh of his forearm. 

Jungkook woke up to water running and then shut off. He figured Namjoon was washing his hands and fell back into a peaceful sleep. When he woke up again later, he was surprised that Namjoon wasn’t next to him. He stretched his limbs above his head as he looked around to see if maybe Namjoon left him a note. When he saw it on the nightstand he got excited, hoping Namjoon went to get them food as he was starving. 

As he started to read the letter, the radio alarm clicked on with a Sam Smith song, 

_“Yes, I do, I believe._

_That one day, I will be where I was._

_Right there, there right next to you.”_

A sob ripped from Jungkook’s throat as he dropped the note on the bed and ripped off the sheets. Tangling in the edge he fell hard to the ground on his knees biting his lip hard enough warm blood gushed down his chin. 

Unconcerned, he stood and slammed into the closed bathroom door. When it didn’t budge he tried the handle and quickly realized it was locked. A sob tore from his throat as he started to throw himself against the door until he felt it starting to bow in. Finally giving in under the pressure of Jungkook’s body slamming against it. He fell inside with the door causing a loud snap as the frame went with him. He slid on the title once detangled from the wood. That was when he saw the tub full of pinkish water. Namjoon was just lying there unaffected from all the noise or sudden presence of Jungkook. 

His face looked so peaceful. 

None of the typical worry lines etched in it. Almost like he was sleeping, except for how pale he was. His normal golden, caramel skin was a pale, pasty white. Jungkook dropped to his knees not even registering the pain as he crawled on his hands and knees to get to his Namjoon. 

Namjoon's head was resting against the edge tilted at a weird angle, hair hanging over his closed eyes. Jungkook had not realized he was crying or mumbling while he brushed back Namjoon’s bangs. 

“No, no baby, no. Please, Hyung. Please be okay, don't give up on us. Hyung, please, please don’t leave me.“ He reached into the tub staining his arms pink as he tried to hold Namjoon’s body upright thinking it would help him breathe better. Jungkook even placed a warm kiss on his blue lips in hopes it would bring life and warmth back to the man he loved. 

When the lips remained cold no warmth filling them he let out a scream in sorrow. 

***

Jungkook was lying in their bed. It’s been a whole week. Namjoon’s funeral had taken place that morning. The mourners were all gone leaving the apartment and him by default in utter silence. Tae and Jimin had insisted on staying over with him tonight, and he gave in. The weight of losing a friend and looking after Jungkook for the last week had taken its toll on the couple who were now fast asleep in the other room. 

Jungkook had not wanted company or extra people around but the couple had insisted that he should not be alone during this time. And he had found it was just easier to give in and not fight. 

Fighting took too much energy; energy he didn’t have these days. 

And it hurt constantly, his body ached, his heart ached, Jungkook couldn’t find a place that didn’t hurt. 

The pain was all-consuming, and nothing stopped the tears so Jungkook decided it was better to not feel anything than to continue to feel everything. The route of numbness was the path less traveled but the only way to survive the days without Namjoon. So, he just stopped fighting, stopped caring, and in general, just gave up. 

When he thought about it, he could not remember much from the day of Namjoon’s death up to this morning. Jungkook knew the scene from the bathroom well, finding Namjoon still haunted him in his dreams, and sometimes when he went to the bathroom in the middle of the night he would replay finding him. 

He had started doing sponge baths to avoid anything with a tub. But, everything after that moment of finding Namjoon, begging him not to leave him, well the rest was a blur. 

He knew somehow the paramedics had arrived and had pried him off Namjoon’s body. His friends were contacted and showed up by evening, packing everything and taking him back. They worked with the authorities to get the body released to take home and notified everyone. 

Jungkook had insisted on hiding the note and keeping it with him. He read it numerous times over the week while Namjoon’s parents planned the funeral. His parents just sat stiffly next to him, offering no comfort. 

He sighed deeply as he got up to get the letter again. He had stored the letter in the Magic Shop mug he had somehow found in his possession when he got back home. 

The letter was worn from just how much he had touched it during the week. He quickly skimmed it before he crawled back in bed. Once he tucked back under the sheets, he turned his head and looked at Namjoon’s empty pillow. Letter clutched in one hand the cup in the other. The radio was gently playing in the background as he reread the letter replaying that whole morning when he heard the same song playing currently. 

_“Yes, I do, I believe._

_That one day, I will be where I was._

_Right there, right next to you,_

_And it's hard, the days just seem so dark._

_The moon, and the stars,_

_are nothing without you.”_

Jungkook began to sing softly along with it. 

_“Your touch, your skin, where do I begin?_

_No words can explain the way I'm missing you.”_

He had to stop to catch his breath while he listened to the next line. 

_“Deny this emptiness, this hole that I'm inside._

_These tears, they tell their own story.”_

A sob ripped out of his body as he cried, tightly clutching Namjoon’s pillow, stuffing it in his mouth to stifle the sounds. His whole body was shaking from the pain of loss inside. The pain he had numbed this week was ripped from him in shuddering sighs as uncontrolled waves of regret washed over him. 

The regret of all the things he never said, should have said, would have said. The regret of all the things they would never do together, experience together, the times that his Joonie would miss out on. He tried to remember what he did that would make Namjoon feel that he was a burden. Did he not reassure him enough? Did he not love him enough? His stomach rolled at that replaying the last year of missed opportunities. While the song continued to play on in the background: 

_“You told me not to cry when you were gone,_

_But the feeling's overwhelming,_

_it's much too strong._

_Can I lay by your side, next to you, you._

_And make sure you're alright._

_I'll take care of you,_

_And I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight.”_

He hiccuped as he reached for Namjoon’s childhood blanket they had kept on their bed taking a huge sniff of it. It still had just a hint of Namjoon’s smell. He had refused to let Jimin or Seokjin wash it or pack it away. When he turned to shut off the lights he saw the pill bottle of prescribed sleep medicine on the nightstand. He stared at it, clenching the blanket, allowing the song to float around him.

_“I'm reaching out to you._

_Can you hear my call?_

_This hurt that I've been through._

_I'm missing you, missing you like crazy._

_Can I lay by your side, next to you, to you,_

_And make sure you're alright._

_I'll take care of you,_

_And I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight.”_

  
He reached over for the bottle of pills that Tae had picked up to help him get through the nightmares that were plaguing him every night since that day. He sang along to the song, 

_“I don’t want to be here if_

_I can’t be with you tonight._

_Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side.”_

He clutched the mug to his heart sending out a single wish. _Please let me see my love again. Please let me find him and let us be happy. I promise to treat him right. I just want to be with him._

He began to swallow the pills slowly. Not all at once, but one by one. With each pill that he swallowed, he repeated his wish. 

The more he took the heavier his body began to feel, his eyes were beginning to droop, but he didn’t want to risk not waking up next to his love. 

When there were no more pills to take, he dropped the empty bottle next to him on top of the comforter as he leaned back letting his head rest against the headboard. The Magic Shop mug tightly held to his chest. 

His arms were tingling and fingers felt like they were asleep as he reached for the baby blanket next to him. 

Jungkook turned his heavy head allowing the weight to drop him into Namjoon’s pillow. Once he connected to the soft material he shut his eyes and buried his nose into it, breathing in Namjoon’s faint scent. Jungkook allowed the heaviness to settle in on him like a welcoming weight as his vision began to darken around the edge. 

He took one last deep breath and exhaled for the very last time as a tear slipped from his closed eyes. The last line from the song echoing in the room. _“Lay me by your side.”_

****

It was a bright light that forced him to move. 

“Baby?” 

Jungkook’s eyelashes fluttered open slowly. 

The sky was bright blue as white clouds floated through his vision until a dark shadow covered his face. Blinking slowly he smiled as he saw Namjoon smiling down at him with teary eyes and the dimples Jungkook always found himself kissing. 

“You found me, baby I knew you would.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I love kudos and comments.  
> You can find me on Twitter at: [ @Saraileeb](https://twitter.com/Saraileeb1)  
> or [ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/saraisnerdingout)  
> or [the blog](https://ot7fangirl.blogspot.com/) has some cool things on it
> 
> Thanks for visiting and reading hope you enjoyed it!!  
> Let me know what you think.


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